50 Things That I'm Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts
by Kat42100
Summary: Based on a fan photo, a series of 50 linked together drabbles, about rules at Hogwarts and what our favorite students get up to. 8th year fic. Dramione
1. The Hufflepuff Table

**Chapter 1: The Hufflepuff Table**

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 **A/N- So while I was browsing pinterest the other day I found this photo of a list of the 50 things that were unacceptable to do at Hogwarts. I thought I could write a fic that loosely ties these all together, but it's mostly all separate drabbles, just with the some characters, universe and events behind them. Just a quick explanation: it's an 8th year fic, Hermione and Draco are head boy and girl, and the year 7s and 8s share some classes, but not all. This is my first fic, hope you like it! R &R please!**

Chapter 1: The Bee Covered Hufflepuffs

I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their house colours indicate that they are "covered in bees".

The great hall was buzzing as usual. Harry Potter walked into the hall, flanked by his two best friends, as usual. "I can't believe it." He muttered to the ginger on his left. "Why is the Hufflepuff table gone?" "And why are they all standing around?" Ron snickered. Hermione rolled her eyes at the duo and answered: "Ron, they probably don't have anywhere to go." Both boys mumbled in agreement. Harry was right, where the long Hufflepuff table once stood, there were now only deep groove marks in the floor, and the walls were dotted with students sporting yellow and black ties. As the Golden Trio sat down in their seats hesitantly, McGonagall stood up. The new headmistress silenced the few whispering students with a glare, and motioned for everyone to stop eating for a moment. "As you have probably all noticed, there has been an incident concerning the Hufflepuff table." She paused a moment, leaving time for Zacharias Smith to shout out in anger. McGonagall ignored him, and simply continued. "Until the table is restored, the Hufflepuffs will be joining the Slytherins at their table. The Hufflepuffs shuddered collectively.

Once they all sat down at the Slytherin table, Minerva sat back down, and the students started gossiping among themselves. There were various theories as to what had happened to the table. According to Ron Weasley, his sister had "accidentally" burned it down after a fight with her now ex-boyfriend, Oliver Rivers. Ginny's theory was that Ron was covering for himself, when he tried to cast a multiplying spell on his dinner, and it hit the Hufflepuff table leg, which then started multiplying. Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown both believed that Draco Malfoy and his gang of Slytherins had sabotaged the Puffs. Blaise Zabini claimed it was his fault for getting raunchy on the table after hours. Luna Lovegood said it was the nargles. And Professor Sprout blamed it all on Hagrid. Apparently he'd sat down on the table, and it has suffered under his weight.

In any case, the Slytherins weren't happy about the situation. Although they would never admit it, some of them were slightly scared of the Hufflepuffs. A Slytherin would kill for his own good, a Gryffindor to fuel his own hero complex, a Ravenclaw if they thought it was the logical thing to do, but a Hufflepuff would kill for the bigger picture. Then again, some of the other just hated the Puffs. At the top of the table, one of these haters was seated. The Slytherin Prince, Draco Malfoy. All the tables had a seating order. The Ravenclaws went by order of intelligence, the Hufflepuffs in their friendship groups, divided by years, and the Gryffindors went up by years, and within those, the war heroes and saviours sat at the top. For the Slytherins it started with first years and outcasts and ended with influential purebloods and the richest seventh years. Thus Draco Malfoy had his place. At his left sat Blaise Zabini, his best friend, and on his right sat Theo Nott, another good friend of his. Only a few seats further down were Daphne Greengrass, Adrian Pucey, Pansy Parkinson, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle. Daphne and Adrian were making out again, Vince and Greg were playing exploding snap, and Pansy was reading a copy of Wizarding Vogue. Draco was pulled from his thoughts by a loudly complaining Zacharias Smith. Adrian had temporarily stopped paying attention to his girlfriend, and was instead holding Smith's hand in a deadly vice grip. "You can't sit here Smith. Blood traitors like you sit at the other end." He hissed. "But McGonagall sent me here!" The other whined. Draco gave Adrian a curt nod. Let him sit, he signalled. "So Smith. What happened to your table?" Blaise lent in over the table. "Dunno. Suppose you lot had something to do with it." The Slytherins sniggered and shook their heads, all missing the look their leader sent over to the Gryffindor table. Or more specifically, to his girlfriend, Hermione Granger.

"Nah, wasn't us mate." Blaise shook his head in mirth again. "Better off pointing the finger at those Gryffs. It's usually them." Vince and Greg finally looked up from their game of exploding snap. "Hey, what's that doing here?" The latter asked, waving at the Hufflepuff's face. "Is it... Real?" The formed asked, as he poked at the astonished wizard's tie. Theo snorted drily, and continued the conversation. "So I've always wondered." He smirked. "Is it true you all grow Marijuana in herbology?" Smith shook his head. Now Blaise looked at him curiously: "But you are always stoned aren't you?" Daphne drawled: "Was I the only one who thought that Diggory guy was an idiot?" At that point Pansy looked up too "Daph, I don't know, the Diggory dude was prety hot. And he could throw a spell." Smith just looked on horrified as he shouted "No! WE DO NOT TAKE DRUGS!" The rewt of the Great hall slowly turned around to stare. Draco, with his trademark smirk, simply asked: "Why a badger? Shouldn't it be a bee?"

Now even Hermione got involved. "Why a bee Malfoy?" From beside her, Ron pointed out that their house colours did show they were covered in bees. "That is the implication, although I am surprised Weasley got it before you did, with that brain of yours, Granger. Although your hair must serve to block out noise." Pansy sneered accross the tables. She was too busy high fiving Greg to notice the death glare Draco sent her. However, Blaise did see it. He'd have a nice long talk with his friend about mudblood Granger later. "In any case, we aren't covered in bees. As you can see." Ernie MacMillan pointed out. "Hmmm, your house colours indicate otherwise. Pity, though. That would have been a sight. Come on, I'm tired of these people." Draco stood up, and swaggered out of the hall, followed by his friends. "I wish he was covered in bees." Harry Potter whispered.


	2. The Dark Mark

Chapter 2: The Dark Mark

 **A/N: I'm a home sick, so I'll upload a few chapters today, but there might be a few spelling mistakes. Also, I mention to "Let go of the past", which made me think, there's an awesome story by (I think) cleotheo, called Letting Go Of The Past. Check it out! All her stories are pretty good, so if you want, check her out on my profile, she's one of my favourite authors out there. She updates several times a week, and there's always new stories going on!**

When they left the Great Hall, Draco and his friends split up. Most of them to go to the Slytherin Dormitory, leaving Draco to go to the Head Dorms. The Head's common room was sealed by the portrait of a mysterious lady holding a flickering candle. She simply raised an eyebrow in question for the password, and never spoke. When it was past curfew she blew out her candle, and in the mornings, she relit it, although no one could claim to have seen her do so. "House Unity." He gave the password. The lady smiled at him with her painted, dark lips, and swung open. He entered into a spacious common room, lined with bookcases to accommodate for the love of reading the Head Students shared between them. There was a roaring fire crackling in the summer, and a back wall with ceiling high windows looking over the Black Lake, which were now covered with heavy brown drapes. The colour scheme of the common room was simple, with dark wooden floors, dark grey couches and chairs, accompanied by accents of gold and silver. To the left, there was a cherry wood door, with a golden plate on it: "H. J. Granger". On the other side of the common room was a dark green door with a silver plate: "D. L. Malfoy". Both rooms were located in a tower, with identical bedrooms and ensuites, but house orientated colour schemes.

His bedroom had black, wood, polished floors. A large canopy bed was in the centre of the back wall, underneath large windows with Slytherin green drapes. On the left wall there was a closet with a mirror on the inside, standing next to a antique black desk, filled with hidden compartments and locked drawers. Two bookcases were on the other wall, next to the door that led to his bathroom. Inside there was a sink, toilet, bath and shower. Draco flopped down on his bed, pulled out a book and read. Time passed by as he waited for his girlfriend to come by, and when someone finally opened the common room, he was disappointed to find Blaise Zabini waiting for him. "What are you doing here, Blaise?" The dark skinned Italian merely smirked. "Why, I'm visiting my best friend."

"I didn't give you the password to annoy me, arrogant prat."

Blaise crowed in delight: "You even sound like her!"

"Who are you talking about?" Draco sighed and sank into the nearest couch, stretching his legs out onto it.

"Mudblood Granger." Before Blaise knew it, Draco's wand was in the hollow of his throat and he was growling in a deadly voice: "Don't. Call. Her. That." Blaise's eyes widened. "So you really like her, huh?" Draco slowly sat back down and shook his head: "No. I don't. We have however formed a truce. And only I get to insult her behind her back." Blaise just scoffed and shook his head. "Well have fun with the Mud-... Sorry, the muggle-born." He turned around and smirked dramatically as he left. He just knew Draco and the mudblood were having a secret relationship.

Relieved at that ordeal being over, Draco went back upstairs, and grabbed his book, and continued reading on the couch. It become later and later, and soon he simply decided to take a nap on the couch. His arm was tucked under his head, and his book lay forgotten on the floor, as Harry and Ron entered the room, searching for Hermione. Instead, they encountered a fast sleeping head boy. Grinning evilly, Ron elbowed Harry. "Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. We have Draco FREAKING Malfoy at our mercy!" Harry snickered back: "I can't believe Mione has to live with the ferret. I bet he tricked McGonagall into making him head. I mean, what's the ferret got on us?" They looked at each other, grinned again, and chorused: "Payback time!"

"Okay, what do we want to do?" Harry asked.

"I guess we could paint him blue?"

"Draw a dick on his face?"

"In permanent marker."

"Nah, too hard."

"What else?"

"Uhm, tie him up?"

"Levicorpus him?"

"Torture him?"

"Mate, that's messed up." Ron said, crinkling his nose.

"Lock him on the balcony?"

"Naked."

"Mione won't like that, Ron."

"Nah it'll scar me too anyways."

"Mate, we could draw a ferret!"

"Or we could turn him into one!"

"Good oneeee, let's!" They got out their wands. "Do you know the spell?" And realised that idea wasn't possible either. Suddenly Harry shot upright. "I have it! Ron, do you have a Sharpie?" Silently, Ron handed him one, reaching deep into his pocket. He raised an eyebrow in question. Harry just grinned back maliciously.

Slowly he started drawing on Draco's arm, stopping occasionally to think back over the details. Exactly 17 minutes later both boys were staring at the near perfect dark mark in awe. "Stroke of genius Harry!" "That'll teach the filthy death eater scum." Despite Voldemort being dead, and Draco's part in the war being forced, some people just couldn't let go of the past.

Suddenly the portrait behind them swung open. Harry and Ron turned around, to come face to face with a furious Hermione Granger. Her hair seemed to be crackling with static, or magic perhaps, and her eyes were blazing steely cognac instead of warm amber. "What did you do?" She hissed. Both boys gulped. "We just taught the ferret a lesson, Mione." Harry spoke, trying to sound reasonable. "Don't you dare 'Mione' me Harry! What did you do to poor Draco? He was sleeping! What made you think he even needed a lesson to be taught, you imbeciles?!" She shrieked, losing all cool. Both boys looked down at the floor sheepishly. "I don't know what to say." Harry spoke again. "Don't say anything, just. Fix. This!" "Yes Hermione." Both boys backed away from her, in the process tumbling over Draco, who woke up with a start, and rubbed his eyes sleepily. "Mione? What's going on?" The boys looked at him, horrified. "Mione? He calls you Mione?" She silenced them with a deathly glare. "Yes. Draco can call me that. Unlike you two. Look what you did to his arm!" The boys rubbed their necks sheepishly. Slowly and warily Draco looked at his arm. "Merlin's baggy sweatpants, what did you two do?!" Hermione sat next to him, and rubbed his back soothingly. "I'm sure they didn't mean to bring up such a difficult time. Or make you an outcast. Or get you into trouble with Gryffindors and teachers alike. Right Harry? Ron?" "No Hermione." They chorused again. She fixed them with another glare. "Sorry ferret." "I have a name and it's not ferret." "Sorry... Draco." Hermione stood up once again and pointed them to the door. "Good. Now out! Out!" They reluctantly went, Harry only stopping to say over his shoulder: "I want an explanation tomorrow!"


	3. The Extra-Credit

Chapter 3: The "Extra-Credit"

 **A/N: So I started with this story two days ago, and already I'm getting favourites and follows, as well as a few reviews! I'm so excited about this, so I'll just say thanks so much to Comic Critic for reviewing! Hope you like this chapter too!**

Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra-credit project for Herbology".

"Don't let them hear you!"

"I won't!"

"I mean it Pansy, this is important, so you'll probably mess it up."

"... Shut up Blaise."

"OW!"

"Ssssshhhhhhh Daphne!" Five voices chorused.

"Blaise stomped on my foot!"

"No one cares." A short pause, and then:

"OW!" Four voices again chorused: "Shut up Blaise!"

"No fair! Daphne stomped on my foot!"

A chorus of: "Daph?!"

Then: "He said no one cared!"

Then everything escalated into petty bickering. Sentences such as: "Pansy don't pull my hair!" "Why Blaise, do you love it more than your face? Cause I can gouge your eyes out too!" "Pansy why are you nails so long?!" And "Adrian, Theo hurt meeeeeee!" Could be heard. Draco sat back, torn between smirking and conjuring popcorn, and facepalming, or maybe he should just interfere. A yowl: "BLAISE I YOU HAVE THREE SECONDS TO MOVE YOUR HAND OR IT BECOMES A PERMANENT WALL ORNAMENT OF MINE!" Nope, too much fun to interfere. But when Daphne and Adrian started making out again, and Pansy got out her wand, and was pointing it at Theo's nose, while simultaneously punching Blaise, he knew he had to do something.

"Okay kids, enough is enough. Let's all just calmly sort this out, so we can still be on time to meet Granger at the greenhouses, without getting caught. Alright?"

Immediately they all straightened up. Blaise simply smirked and drew out: "Why Granger again?" Draco rolled his eyes and muttered the excuse he had come up with earlier. "She's the brightest witch of our age, Blaise. She's a muggleborn. She knows this." After a still smirking Blaise whispered "Yeah right." Just under his breath, the group set off again. "Where did you say you'd gotten an invisibility cloak again, Draco?" Blaise asked innocently. "It is a bit small to cover all five of us. And isn't Potter the only one who has a cloak like this in school?" Draco ignored him and they walked on. Finally they arrived at the greenhouses. There, under some foliage, sat the Gryffindor princess, Hermione Granger. She was wearing a strange black, skintight outfit, which left just her head uncover. Her hair was trapped underneath a black beanie, and she had two black face paint stripes on each cheek. "Granger. Why on Earth are you wearing?" Draco hissed. "I'm a ninja, Malfoy. I have class." Five confused faces stares at her. "A ninja?" "Yes Zabini. They're Japanese warriors, dressed in all blacks, with long swords, who operate on secret missions during nighttime." Looking at their confused faces she simply beckoned them to follow her. They tiptoed past Hagrid's hut, to the edge of the forbidden forest, where Hermione gave them each a small lamp. They checked if everyone knew the plan, and then split into different areas of the forest. Hermione and Draco seemingly split up, but as they had agreed, met up a little further in. There, they sat on a tree stump, waiting for the time to pass. Well, 'waiting'. More like kissing. Intensely. With fervour. Or passion. Or both. Oh my, was that Hermione's shirt that went flying?

Anyways, as time passed, they reluctantly moved back to the edge of the forest, where the six teens grouped together the mushrooms they had found. Blaise went first. "Psilocybe Tampanensis. Also known as Philosopher's Stones. I thought they would be fitting. Once ingested they give you a deep thinkers attitude. It's easily controlled, and good for lessons. Cause it makes you profound. Get it? Hehe." He put down a couple of mushrooms that bore semblance to small rocks. Pansy followed. "Psilocybe cubensis. Golden caps? We've used these in potions, you know the ones that bruise?" Everyone grunted noncommittally. Daphne, Theo and Adrian all chipped in with their 'magic mushrooms', as they had been dubbed. Then everyone turned to Hermione and Draco. They both shrugged sheepishly, and claimed to not have seen anything.

Quickly they all snuck back to the greenhouses. When they entered the last greenhouse, the student initiative one, Blaise motioned to a piece of unused ground with a dramatic sweeping gesture as he said: "Now for the grand finale!" Hermione smirked at her, a mudblood, being important to Blaise, a pureblood supremacist. "Have you got the plants, Granger?" He asked. She nodded, and quickly gathered some marijuana seeds onto the patch of ground. Simultaneously the Slytherins all let out great whoops of joy. Which was their doom. As Hermione shushed them all, they realised that they would have been heard from all the way over to the castle, or at least Hagrid's hut.

And they were, because looming in the doorway, a great big shadow stood, accompanied by his slobbering dog. "Hermione? What are you doin' with this lot?" The figure asked. A stuttering, bright red Hermione tugged on one of her bushy locks. "Well... I... We... I was helping them with an extra-credit project for Herbology you see." "After hours? For Herbology?" The half-giant's thick eyebrows rose halfway up his massive forehead. "Yes sir, she's been kindly helping us study different types of mushrooms sir. These particular ones can only grow past midnight, before the sun rises. So you see, we came out here." Draco piped in. "And Professor Sprout knows about this?" The gamekeeper asked incredulously. "Not exactly, sir. We were... Uhm... Surprising her with it!" Daphne said politely. She was one of the few Slytherins who was unfailingly polite. "Alright then. That's okay, I s'pose. Go along then, back to yer beds." He waved one giant dustbin lid sized hand at the group. Everyone ducked their heads down and quickly raced through the open door.

They were walking back when Theo grasped Hermione's arm, and hissed: "So why is the goody-two-shoes Mudblood helping us?" She froze, yet he pushed her forwards, forcing her to pretend nothing was wrong. "Answer me, Mudblood." She gulped and said hesitantly: "It's a profit. Draco promised me a share of whatever you made. And I can use some of these mushrooms for actual extra-credit potions." They both blanched for a second and then: "We left the ingredients!" Hurriedly Hermione explained to Hagrid that they needed to run back and fetch the plants they left quickly. Hagrid hurried them along, and before they knew it, the group was back at the greenhouse. Just before Hermione slipped inside, Theo whispered in her ear: "Don't think you're off the hook, Mudblood, you called him Draco. She shuddered and moved away from him quickly, into the greenhouse, and grabbed her mushrooms and marijuana. As she was walking back out, Hagrid got a good look at the plants the star student was carrying. "Hermione? Is that... Marijuana?"

"No sir?"


End file.
